Welp..

I've been running around doing the two job thing for about two months now, and with all of that time, I have not been able to even finish a job. It's incredibly frustrating.

I am tired.. I have driven myself to sickness because of working for a month and a half without a day off... my motivation is sapped, my concern for financial independence and safety has officially consumed my existence... my health has taken a downturn in general, body pains, panic attacks, anxiety fallout...

My book of ideas is blasting with scraps of paper into which I've scrawled material in between classes and changing uniforms instead of eating.

But I stand on a ledge peering out into the future, and on the horizon I see the end.. and the end of this catastrophic, pitiful meaningless means of existence is within arms reach and an eyes' gaze.

I want nothing more than to take the laundry list of possibilities, structures, plot notes, summaries, sketches, scrawlings, blueprints for not yet known universes of heroes, heroines, and supervillains and bring them to this plane of existence. They are all waiting next to me on the same ledge I mentioned earlier. They crave life just as I crave going back to mine.

Movies, acting, books, comic books, graphic novels, comic strips, video game concepts, alternate realities, steampunk fabrications, environment concepts, pins and button designs, halloween creatures and beings, props and garments; lyrics, poetry, spoken word, all of these and more have amassed a weight of multiple universes upon my brain, and the tension, the stress, the urge, the desire.. the LUST to create these things.. to birth these thoughts to this plane of existence is building to that of an avalanche... a cave-in of creative angst without a siphon.. a waterfall of ideas without a drainage ditch...

So, to paraphrase, I will be shutting down ALL internet activity until June 15th. After that I hope to be back on track of picking up the pen and finally working the stack. It will be glorious

(The reason as to WHY I'm doing this is because if I shut down, I'll be able to retain some of my focus on the job, and thusly be more productive and save what little sanity I have left.)

So, I bid all of my fellow DAers a warm wave of the hand while I battle reality and all of its mundane constrictions and strains.. I shall return, and I cannot wait until I do.